Write Your Own Story

I spent this past week in Seattle with Sung, my Taoist master who adopted me as he niece 8 years ago when we met. We had an instant understanding and when he took my pulse he told me that we were connected through the universe. I used to come here twice a month and then less as time has passed. But now I usually come when I need a dose of Sung during a transition point in my life. Just being in his presence provides a sense of relief.

Over the years, Sung has been like a father to me - dispensing wisdom and discipline. He has picked me up when I stumbled, disapproved of all my boyfriends (especially the last one - he said, "get rid of that little boy" - ouch!), healed me when I was sick and always had the right thing to say at the right time. Mind you, Sung never speaks like the rest of us mortals. I usually have to listen to what he says, then lay in bed that night and search my heart for what it means.

This week I arrived at the airport to find him as he always is: dressed in a kimono and cowboy boots, his long black hair flowing down his back, his purposeful eyes searching my eyes to get a read. He took one look at me and said, "You look hungry." I nodded. Then he said, "You look cold." I nodded again. He grabbed my arm and whispered, "You look homeless." Which in my heart I was - I have just been through a not-so-fun breakup. He started walking and commanded, "Come, I will feed you. I will warm you. I will make you a home."

We went to my favorite Korean hotpot restaurant and we ate in silence. I don't really remember how much I ate, but we were eating for over an hour straight. After we were done, he looked at me the way he does - someone who sees what nobody else can.

"There are no more lions and tigers in the jungle for you to hunt. They are all extinct now." he said quietly. I knew what he meant. I was chasing something that wasn't there, but finally had decided to walk away alive and human.

"Save enlightenment for tomorrow. Just be happy today. If you can be happy without anything - money, a relationship, status, distractions - that is true enlightenment." This really struck me. We are all so distracted - we can find 1,000 ways in one day not to have to be with ourselves.

I have spent the last 3 days meditating, eating, sleeping, writing. That's it. I realized how happy I am doing just the simple things and I am starting to embrace silence again. I am staying at Sung's guest house that is all white with no furniture except for a mat on the floor and a fireplace. There is no tv, no stero, no distractions (but strangely a dsl connection?). Sung's students and disciples come here to stay and meditate - it is truly a place to reintroduce yourself to your spirit.

I encourage all of you women (and men, if you're reading) to introduce yourself again to the person you may have lost along the way. That kid you left behind. That vulnerable heart you closed when it was broken. That inner voice that told you it was okay to be just who you are. That beautiful woman who had yet to be told she wasn't enough. Take the time - you will be surprised what you might find.